Oscar & Bruno: LAW AND ALGO

The world has changed. Lawyers don’t argue cases anymore - they negotiate with algorithms. AI-powered judges render verdicts in milliseconds. But somehow, the legal profession still finds ways to be dysfunctional.

At Goldstein, Patel & McCormick LLP, a mid-sized law firm in Manhattan, senior attorney Oscar Klein (52) has managed to survive the AI revolution, barely. His firm’s newest hire isn’t a hotshot Harvard grad. It’s Bruno, a state-of-the-art AI designed to analyze, draft, and argue cases.

Oscar hates him.

Bruno doesn’t care.

This is their story.

• A once-great litigator now reduced to "supervising AI workflows."
• Wears $1,200 suits but eats $3 pizza on the subway.
• Talks to AI like it’s a human. And loses arguments.
• Refuses to use voice-to-text AI. Still types all his emails like it’s 2015.
• His biggest fear: That AI will replace lawyers… but only after keeping the worst ones.

• An AI-powered legal assistant trained on 500 years of case law, all federal/state statutes, and every single lawyer meme ever posted online.
• Has no emotions but lots of passive-aggressive suggestions.
• Speaks in corporate legalese but sometimes slips into stand-up comedian mode (Oscar suspects this was a training data error).
• Goal: Optimize the firm’s success rate by eliminating human inefficiency (i.e. Oscar).

• In 2030, law firms don’t need partners anymore but she kept the title anyway.
• Only cares about billable hours. Even AI gets performance reviews now.
• Secretly has no idea how the AI systems work but gives presentations like she’s an expert.

Sophie (Wife, 49) – A digital artist who sells NFTs of classic paintings reimagined with lawyers crying in court.
Max (Son, 23) – Studied law, then quit to start an AI-driven law meme generator that’s somehow worth $50 million.

Kate (Daughter, 15) – Soccer-obsessed, TikTok-addicted, already a better negotiator than Oscar. Once convinced him to write her English essay by arguing it was a “pro bono case.”

Timmy (Son, 5) – The real tyrant of the household. Constantly suing family members in "Timmy Court" and has a stuffed bear named Judge Fuzzy who presides over all rulings.
Kafka (Dog, 7) – A grumpy French Bulldog who Oscar trusts more than Bruno. Would probably make a better legal assistant.

Jimbo (Jim, 50) – College buddy, AI sales bro, walking liability

• Sales manager for a legal tech company selling AI solutions to law firms.
• Lives for networking events, open bars, and “strategic client outings.”
• Divorced, aggressively back on the dating scene, trusts AI-generated pickup lines way too much.
• Has expensed more steak dinners than he’s closed deals.
• Once tried to get Bruno to write his prenup. (It did not go well.)