LOLZ 4 HIRE

Professional Copy That Actually Converts 

(and won't put your prospects or employees to sleep)

Love Legal LOLz? Tired of marketing copy that reads like terms of service written by a depressed robot? 

Let our professional LOLz-crackers turn your communications into actual conversation starters.

WHAT WE DO

Transform your boring legal copy into words that actually work.

Whether you need to convert prospects, engage clients, or just make your team smile at Monday morning meetings, we'll make it sharp, funny, and on-brand(ish).

EXTERNAL COMMUNICATIONS

AKA "How to Sound Human While Selling Legal Services"

Website Copy

• Landing pages that convert visitors into clients (not confused browsers)
• About pages that make people want to work with you
• Service descriptions that explain what you actually do
• Blog posts people might voluntarily read

Marketing Materials

• Brochures that don't immediately become paperweights
• Case studies that tell stories, not data dumps
• Email campaigns that get opened (and responded to)
• Social media content that doesn't scream "please engage with our brand"

Sales Copy

• Proposals that win more business
• Prospecting emails that get replies
• Demo scripts that create urgency
• Follow-up sequences that actually follow through

Digital Advertising

• LinkedIn ads that don't sound like everyone else's LinkedIn ads
• Google ads that make people click (for good reasons)
• Social media campaigns that feel authentic
• Display copy that displays results

INTERNAL COMMUNICATIONS

AKA "making your team actually want to read company emails"

Team Communications

• All-hands emails that people don't immediately delete
• Newsletter content that isn't corporate cringe
• Announcement memos that get attention
• Internal updates that sound human

HR & Culture

• Job postings that attract talent (not just applicants)
• Welcome packages that set the right tone
• Policy updates that don't sound like punishment
• Team celebration content that feels genuine

Client Relations

• Retainer letters clients actually understand
• Status updates that reassure instead of confuse
• Holiday cards that aren't stock photo disasters
• Thank you notes that sound sincere

Special Occasions

• Anniversary cards that don't suck
• Retirement roasts (the good kind)
• Achievement recognitions that feel personal
• Event invitations people actually want to RSVP to

WHO WE WORK WITH

Law Firms: Stop losing clients to firms that simply explain things better

LegalTech Companies: Make your AI sound less like Skynet, more like a helpful colleague

Legal Recruiters: Help lawyers find better jobs without the corporate-speak nightmare

E-Discovery/Forensic Firms: Explain what you do without requiring a computer science degree

CLE/Training Companies: Make professional development sound less like homework

Legal Service Providers: Whatever you do, we'll help you explain it clearly

SAMPLE WORK

Before: "Our firm provides comprehensive litigation services utilizing cutting-edge strategies to deliver optimal outcomes for our diverse client portfolio."

After: "We win lawsuits. It's literally what we do all day. Want to talk about yours?"

Before: "Pursuant to your recent inquiry regarding our professional development opportunities..."

After: "Thanks for asking about our training! Here's what you actually need to know..."

Example internal memo we wrote for a partner's 20th anniversary: "20 years at this firm? That's 140 in legal years. Congratulations on surviving depositions, dress codes, and Doug from Finance. Here's to 20 more years of billable excellence."

WHY CHOOSE US

✅ We actually understand the legal industry (our Editor-in-Law is still not disbarred... yet)

✅ We speak human, not lawyer-bot (revolutionary, we know)

✅ We know what converts (because we track results, not just word count)

✅ We're actually funny (which makes you memorable for the right reasons)

✅ We hit deadlines (unlike that other copywriter who went MIA)

✅ We don't bill like BigLaw (seriously, our rates won't cause cardiac events)

WHAT OUR CLIENTS SAY

"Finally, marketing copy that doesn't make me cringe. Our conversion rate doubled in the first month." - Managing Partner, Mid-Size Litigation Firm

"They made our AI software sound like something humans would actually want to use." - CEO, LegalTech Startup

"Our team actually reads company emails now. It's weird but wonderful." - HR Director, AmLaw 200 Firm

GET STARTED

Ready to sound like a real business run by actual humans?

What We Need:

• What you're trying to accomplish
• Who you're talking to
• Your current copy (so we know what we're fixing)
• Your deadline (we're pros too - we get it)

What You Get:

• Copy that actually works
• Humans who respond to emails
• Professional results without the pretentious process
• Words that sound like you, but better

CONTACT

Email our Editor-in-Law: editor [at] legal-lolz [dot] com

Subject line ideas:

• "Help, my copy is terrible"
• "Make us sound human"
• "Emergency copywriting situation"
• "We need you to fix this mess"

No boring consultation calls. No jargon-filled proposals. Just straight talk about turning your communications from liability into asset.

P.S. - Yes, we can make your copy sound professional AND human. It's not magic, it's just good writing. 

(Though our clients swear it's magic when they see their conversion rates.)

P.P.S. - Our billing isn't Spiro-level painful. Promise.